Why Figuring Out Your Career Path is Bullshit

Ashley Nicole
4 min readAug 27, 2021

I wish I knew then what I know now.

It should be noted that I sleep like shit, so some of those dots can go..

What if society has it wrong when they say, “do a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life,” or “Find your purpose and do that for work.” Look at the jar located just above this paragraph. That is your life, broken down. Take a look at how much time is dedicated to work, screen time, relationships, and social. Are you as shocked as I am? I want to explore changing these ratios and living a more fulfilled life. I am starting to believe that choosing a career isn’t as important as it’s made out to be.

Personally, I have chosen a career that both aligns with my “purpose” and that I loved. Guess what? It backfired. So here I am, 31 years old, trying to fucking figure myself out. I have placed so much pressure on myself to have a stable career. Why? Because that’s how I was raised.

That’s all they teach us growing up and in school. It’s one of the first questions asked on a date or when you meet someone new. Who the hell cares?

They should be asking, “are you happy?” What if work is about providing for you and your family and just enjoying those you work with? I say this because I was doing a job I loved, with my whole heart, and the PEOPLE SUCKED. I was miserable. The leadership, SUCKED. Those are huge factors that change the whole game.

“Dream jobs are romanticized. The problem with this fantasy is it leaves us searching for something that is extremely hard to find. When you expect work you love to be this almost orgasmic experience you suddenly discover at a skyscraper of broken dreams, it ends up causing disappointment.” -Tim Denning

What if you found a job you slightly enjoyed, but the people and the leadership was AMAZING? I think you would be more likely to stay and be happy. I mean, if I’m going to spend 1/3 of my life at work, I want to be around people I actually like and get along with. Now that I think about it, growing up, there was one person who gave me advice about what to do for a living that is standing out right now.

My Grandpa Chuck always said, “do what makes you happy, you can do anything you want.”

I think I heard that, but I wasn’t listening. I also took into consideration what the rest of the world was saying, to have a GOOD job, AKA have a good “title.” Because it’s all about the labels in this generation, right?! I also knew what I didn’t want, and that was to be living like the people I was surrounded by, broke and miserable. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I want job security and retirement and all that jazz. However, there are still ways to do that. Simply invest, budget, and have a backup for the backup plan. Also, we won’t even like the same shit over time. We are constantly changing! We change our minds about things in life, like girls trying to decide what to eat for dinner that night. Our mind and body changes every 7 years.

I read an article published by The Mind’s Journal, “Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Evolve Every 7 years.” Now, I’m no scientist, and I’m not even sure how true that statement is. However, I do know that some stuff I enjoyed doing when I was 23, I don’t enjoy now. We are constantly changing. So why should we have to settle on ONE career, when we can have multiple? Grow, learn, meet people, spend time with family and developing good habits.

Why is the smallest portion of that jar the social and relationships category? Aren’t therapists always telling you to interact, be more social, build relationships? Maybe the reason they stress this so much is because we don’t fucking do it! Maybe we should. I can definitely say from experience, that shit matters way more than a paycheck or “title” at a job.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m some guru that knows the answers to life. I write because I want to help others based on my own personal experiences and honestly, it helps me too. So, what do I want you to take away from this? Ask questions and don’t put so much pressure on yourself. I have a lot of unanswered questions. If you can shed some light on this topic or have any thoughts, drop a comment.

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Ashley Nicole

A blog to inspire others by writing on topics mostly focused on work, life and relationships, and what went wrong. How you get past it and live your best life!